


Categories

by ThoseDaysThatWill



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Boston Bruins, Gen, Lots of Innuendo, M/M, Providence Bruins, a whole bunch of boys being boys, in a nice safe way, some naughty words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 00:04:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18324671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThoseDaysThatWill/pseuds/ThoseDaysThatWill
Summary: Late in the 2015-16 season, in Providence, a bunch of future Bruins tease each other as only friends can.





	Categories

**Author's Note:**

> This stemmed from the prompt “Isn’t that illegal?” and a request for some Bruins, from Kendall.
> 
> All of my stories take place within the same universe, so see if you can fit this one in with the others.

“You have a boyfriend from _college_? Isn’t that illegal around here?” Charlie was perched on the arm of the couch and had his feet propped up on the back of the chair next to it. He had a fresh can of beer in his hand. Somehow, despite the fact that wasn’t his first beer, he wasn’t falling off of this precarious position.

“If anything is illegal, it’s sitting like that. What is _wrong_ with you? Why can’t you sit like a normal person?” Noel rolled his eyes. He had taken up the chair beneath Charlie’s legs and was in a constant state of wondering if he should shove his feet off to watch Charlie fall over.

Charlie shrugged, “I’m a New Yorker.” That was his excuse for absolutely everything since he’d first stepped foot onto the BU campus and he kept it up once he arrived in Providence a couple weeks ago.

“A New Yorker who hates the Bruins,” Noel countered. Charlie’s reputation had preceded him, and so had a few teammates from BU.

It was Charlie’s turn to roll his eyes, “Not _now._ But it’s not my fault they were so…” He gestured with his empty hand, which was supposed to explain what exactly they were, but only made the assembled group laugh.  “And besides, we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about the fact you’re dumb enough to come to the AHL with a _boyfriend_. And he’s not even on the _team_.”

Noel shrugged, “Yeah, super dumb to find someone that you actually _love_ and stay loyal to them despite the fact they’re on another team in another conference.” He tipped his head back to look up at Charlie, “I’m sorry no one’s ever loved you.”

Charlie snickered, “That was _cute_.”

Noel flipped Charlie off, “Okay, we _all_ know you USDP guys are sluts. But that doesn’t mean _every_ American hockey player needs to be a slut. Some of us… _smarter_ New Englanders aren’t as… _fickle_ as _you_ people.”

“Matty is a New Englander and _he’s_ not a prude like you.” Charlie pointed out.

Before Matt could speak, Noel shook his head, “ _USDP_. Trust me, I’ve checked. Everyone on this team is one of three things: USDP sluts, New Englanders with taste, or foreigners.”

“I _want_ to be offended by this.” Charlie tipped his head to the side, the gears clearly working hard in his brain, “But I can’t think of anyone that proves you wrong. I mean, I _know_ USDP guys that aren’t sluts, but they’re not on this team.”

Danton put the hand holding his beer over his heart, “I have never been so proud to be Canadian in my whole life. We are all such pure and innocent _foreigners_.”

Jake leaned over, from where he’d draped himself across the other chair, to offer him a high five, “Damn right, there are _no_ sluts in Canadian hockey at all.”

“That’s ‘cause y’all only fuck moose up there.” Matt scoffed.

“The fuck does a _good Boston boy_ say y’all for?!” Charlie snorted before either Canadian present could deny their personal relations with moose.

Matt flipped him off, “I was _going_ to defend you, but fuck you now.”

Sean cleared his throat before Charlie could make some inappropriate comment about that. “I think you’re onto something, Noel, but the categories need to be USDP sluts, _Americans_ with good taste, and foreigners.” He was sitting sideways, occupying half the couch with his bare feet firmly wedged under Danton’s thigh (for warmth, he had said), while Danton was sprawled on the other half and had his feet up on the coffee table. Their usual positions.

Noel considered this for a moment and then nodded, “Alright, I can agree to that.”

“What about Tommy?” Jake asked with a smirk, wondering if anyone would dare call out their Captain.

Charlie shook his head “BC. They’re _all_ sluts over there. They usta come to our parties, and… I mean I’m not a prude or anything, like _somebody_.” He reached down to ruffle Noel’s hair. “But those BC guys are… _nuts_.”

Matt nodded quickly, “He’s right about that one. And besides, I’ve heard Tommy’s stories about BC and it’s even worse than we saw at our parties. Some of the guys he played with are in the NHL now and…” He tossed a look at Charlie, “Some of _your_ Rangers are… _nuts_.”

“Which ones?” Charlie asked, eagerly.

Matt shook his head, “Ask _him_ sometime.”

Charlie huffed, but didn’t press. There was some lingering respect in the way he talked to Matt, that part of him still thought of him as the Captain he was back at BU. Everyone noticed, but no one commented.

Jake broke the awkward silence that had settled, “Why don’t we _foreigners_ get categorized as sluts or prudes?”

“You can, if you want.” Noel shrugged, “I wasn’t really thinking about Canadians, sometimes I forget you guys even exist.”

“Thanks,” Jake rolled his eyes, “We know Danie did college in the States. Since _he_ didn’t come out of it with a boyfriend, we know which category he falls in. How about me?”

“No one comes out of _any_ CHL team a prude,” Danton offered quickly.

Jake looked at him with a raised eyebrow, “What do _you_ know about that?”

Danton’s cheeks flushed, “I know things.”

Sean picked his head up, “You _do_?”

Danton ducked his head, with a little smile, hiding behind bangs that needed a trim,  “ _Maybe_.”

Charlie groaned and was about to comment, but Noel took that moment to grab his ankle and shove his feet off his chair hard enough to topple Charlie right onto the floor. The back and forth between Danton and Sean had been going on for _months_ and Noel was not about to stand for this new kid coming in and embarrassing either of them away from each other. It would happen when it was supposed to happen, and not a minute before. The raucous laughter as Charlie hit the floor let the subject change and took the eyes off the looks Sean and Danton were giving each other.

“You okay there, Chucky?” Jake managed to ask through his laugh.

Charlie grunted from where he was sprawled on the floor, “Fucking Friar  _asshole_.”

Noel flashed him a smirk, “Yeah, and?”


End file.
